Friday, January 15, 2010
I don't know wad i'm thinking. Everyday goes by, your existence still haunts me everywhere, everytime. I still thought that you're there by my side. When i eat, i think of happy moments we used to spent together. Sad ones too. I can't forget her.
If life is like a chess match, then i could say that i did not regret moving the first step. It's just in the middle of the match that i moved wrong. Which could not be reversed. Every steps every turn you make must be really careful. Once a mistake, it could cause your King to die - you lose. Like always, i keep losing.
My uncle told me this little story once, and i told her before when she's real upset with her family once too. Holding a family/relationship/friendship( not so )is like scooping a pile of sand in ur hand. The tighter you hold, the more the sand would fall off from your hand. Your hand is just a guidance, not a control. Once you made yourself be controlled or control somebody else, the more the person would run away. And also, your hands have limited spaces to hold an amount of sand. Do not be too greedy, or the more it would fall.
For the few mistakes i've made is that i move the wrong step in the chess game and wanted it to be reversed, and holding the sand in my hand tightly.
I wanted to forget. But it just can't. People told me, aiya going pre-u or poly you will find a better person de la. I thought i could not do it. I've already give myself to that someone. i put into it alot alot. But now i guess i can't take it back. I guess it's so hard to take it back. Yea..so hard..
I need a break for myself, I've gotta pull it through manzxzxzxzxzxzzz. Boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi shouldnot cry boyi shouldnot cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry boyi should not cry bpyi should not cry boyi shout ot cry boyi should not cry boti should not cry boyi should not cry. argh. why am i fucking doing this to myself?
Labels: sometimes it really hurts again
(11:03:00 PM)